Rust: A Fiction

by The Mercy Cage

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released November 11, 2001

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The Mercy Cage Auckland, New Zealand

cyber-noir from the edge of the world.

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Track Name: The Valium Whip
Undiscovered pleasures
Undivided by the pain
These petty things
That infect us…
Too complicated
Just punching it through
To concentrate on, & exonerate you

Got a blue mind now
Got a head for war
You seemed so divine now
You know the score

We re-create

Too many mirrors built to crack
Too many warehouses made of stone
To all join hands, of skins & hearts
& sing the same song
Some dispute over product
Some dispute over sale
The means to an end
Mean this vanitys stale
You’re wearing this faith
Like a bulletproof vest
I can slice through the armour…

We Re-create

Dance in my direction
Take the fall
Bask in my reflection
Take it all…away

Like lemmings
The tragic & the stained converge
So wan & pale
This carbon copy of…

This silence isn’t wrong

No reason to pretend
This silence isn’t wrong…
We Re-create

Dance in my direction
Take the fall
Bask in my reflection
Take it all
We Re-create
This silence isn’t wrong
No reason to pretend…
Track Name: Needle Marks (& Scars)
It’s the same old scene this year
Checking in for minor repairs
Angel’s gone away, she pushed it an inch too far
I’ll admit i like the way you wear your marks & scars…

She screams like 1973 “I know” “I need it”
Junk makes such beautiful debris
Stay sane, at least you’ll leave a good looking corpse
Trauma claws & pretty stains All in search of brighter pain
Many voices whisper “I will end you”
Still haunted by the date Nothing left to separate
Keep breathing Inhale/exhale/exhale…

Oh, what possesses you to try & trip this….vein?

& one more time i disbelieve
Choke down the pills that Chrissi gave me & try not to think of this
Yet i wonder what possesses you to try & trip the vein?

It scars & scars & scars & scars…

Another chapter on the road to chemical divinity
I Know Why need it?
Three steps to co-dependency
I think you’re beautiful no matter what the needle marks say
Version 2.0, open up the wound & let it flow
It rains down, it’s something that she could never see
Raise the divine hand of withdrawal It’s just addiction after all
Depress the trigger on a gun called apathy

& i wonder what possesses you to try & trip this vein?

It scars & scars & scars & scars…

Don’t want to be late for the wake this time
It’s a long drive in ever decreasing circles
I’ll admit i lied to you I’ll admit i used you up inside
To feed my insecurities
Goodbye…
Track Name: The Reflecting Skin
Living in summerland forever,
You were the first, the last & the always til you left me underground,
There’s dignity in this repression
There’s purity, in somewhere that leads anywhere but down

Just take the pill, it’ll make you clever, it’ll make you brighter, it’ll make you safe
Just choke it down now, we can all join hands & smile & be the same
Just take the pill, it’ll make you happy, it’ll make you happy, it’ll make you sane
Just take the pill, it’ll make you better, it’ll make you better, it’ll make you stale..

I could suffocate
You could smother me with love….

Call this conditional release, justify it any way you can
I let you complicate me, my old & vanished friend.
These rites of suffrage are like swallowing razorblades again
The blank & errant masses swarm, my old & vanished friend.

The architecture of convention crashes down,
I never, ever wanted you to say:
“You give me absolution, you make me whole…”

Just take the pill, it’ll make you clever, it’ll make you brighter, it’ll make you safe
Just choke it down now, we can all join hands & smile & be the same
Just take the pill, it’ll make you happy, it’ll make you happy, it’ll make you sane
Just take the pill, it’ll make you better, it’ll make you better, it’ll make you stale..

I could suffocate
You could smother me with love, again…

Call this conditional release, justify it any way you can
I let you complicate me, my old & vanished friend.
These rites of suffrage are like swallowing razorblades again
The blank & errant masses swarm, my old & vanished friend…
Track Name: Raining Over Vegas
Angel’s in a black dress, overly made up to hide the scars
Another graveyard danse for show
I remain overcome by the fumes from the fire that stings the eyes
A funeral pyre pushing last & final goodbyes
[Replace the tape, rewind/erase]
A requiem for nothing hit…

I never knew you in this space between flood & memory.

& Christina’s in the back room swallowing days
No mystery mile, no great escape from the pain…
These are the days that never end

I never knew you in this space between flood & memory.

I never knew you in this space between flood & memory.
[Junk dreams of broken girls & pretty, strung out, fucked up toys]
I never knew you in this space between flood & memory.
[As the blood red rainbow radiates bright over vegas again & again & again]
I never knew you in this space between flood & memory.
Track Name: Defeat
Flawed & Restless by design
I see this apathy pushed through
A combination of, years of pills & you
A Vague expression through default

There’s not much left that i can say
At least you tolerate me
every god-damned fucking day
I am learning to crawl
Like Pigs in shit we wallow, we revel in co-dependency
I am learning to crawl
I will not deny this
I will never admit defeat
Redirect
Internalise
This depression crutch is getting pretty lame
Ripped upon the oceans of another minds distress
It’s insane…I never thought the song would remain the same
I am learning to crawl
With my blood upon your hands, to rein in this conceit
I am learning to call
To not exclude you from this
Tol never admit defeat
I know, this seems so shameless
I know, you were never pristine
I know, You’re not entirely blameless
I know, but only in dreams…I know
A small redress, this violet light
Coloured by preoccupations, with me in red & you in white
When all is said, & when i’m done,
This obsession was never really any fun…
I will not deny this
I will never admit defeat
I know, this seems so shameless
I know, you were never pristine
I know, i’m not entirely blameless
I know, but only in dreams…I know
Track Name: The Withering
Falling down the stairs backwards again
I could never be the one to make you…be still
Black & blue
Ultra-Violet light on skin
with the absence of will…

Siphoned
Off You
Into Battle, This is war
Sadder still
This black refrain
Like violins

Another slow burn decay
A vain attempt to wash these tears & all the blood & dirt away
We’ve been down this road before, been in this straitjacket for days
With open arms
I let you in
I let you snuff the flame

Be my victim
I revel in your apathy
This concession means i win
Like violence
Like violins…
Track Name: Redemption (Stand)
Raise your hands to the heavens
We are stained by time
Take these shattered wings & fly
Traverse the divide
There exists right now my love
A certain distance between you & i
We are, set upon by the great & terrible lie
A tear upon the surface
Reflecting bent & wrong
Over fleeting shards of dreams
Don’t speak now
I understand…

Stand beneath me
Let me drink of you
This cup full of lies
With arms wide open
Arms cover everything
Like grey machines
We sleepwalk through these
Gentle acts of cruelty
Arms wide open
I covet everything
Every waking moment
Every wasted frame in time
Everyday
You let me off my knees & make me stand
smiling through this charade
Stand like nothing ever was wrong
Be my lover, be my wife
At least look me in the eye for once
& make me stand…
Track Name: Act III: Communion
& so the danse begins…
These are endings
We venerate the great black god release
A weeping sore ripped open by the wire
One
More
Time
Another funeral dirge, so many vacant words
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
To head back into the bowels of the machine…
Track Name: (Welcome to) the Underneath
this enchantment
Lost in the funhouse again
immobilised
with my fingers in your head
to touch the vein just once
without the need to replace
something primal
fed upon by the virus of faith

gridlocked by the storm again
she was only 17
salvation’s just a cut away
pull the trigger now…
welcome to the underneath

nothing viral
drowning in the image of you
lie in the arms
these fables of blood & nicotine
begin this soulless sacrifice
a wire machine that’s built to fail
rains down like disease
rains down like hail
down so long
scars fall away
welcome in…
welcome to the underneath
Track Name: Pale Horses
Unleash the demons, too much blood on his hands
Haunted by the image of her again
She seems forever bound to echo this flawed refrain
Thru human frailty
The horror of the memory remains…

Drive the static out
Insessant noises from the dead
These insistent voices
Whispering away…

I have nothing to recant

An image burned forever in the skin beneath the eyelids
These are blood dreams
These are visions
Haunted by the voices
The memory of Rachael seems to die a little more each day
Release comes riding on a pale horse
To carry this away…

Drive the static out
Shut out the voices in my head
Framed in violet
& touched by the first light again…

Oh, I am stained by decisions
& hounded by the image
Somewhere past the end of you

I have nothing to repent

Like Christina said: “You were never pure without me”
In the absolving glow of twilight
[Salvation" etched in blood on the wall]
Seems symptomatic of something
[My disease]
These damnation dreams
[My release]
To live with this always & forever…

Not scared…

We are stained by decisions
& hounded by the image
You know these are ghosts
A prozac anthem just like ’95
Kick back & wait for the dreams to die
And die…
We are stained by decisions
& hounded by the image
You know these are ghosts
You know these are ghosts to me…
Track Name: Nearly Home
As the world lies in slumber
In dreams
I come to you…
Track Name: "M"
Black on black
Something automatic
Something sight unseen
I have succumbed to this before
Thru malignancy, with sympathy
With shame when words collide
Stuck on the downside…
Every time i think it’s over
[I am nameless & i am dying]
[I am blameless yet i am dying]

I could cut myself to prove that the wire is real

Iamthecolouriamtheshapeiamtheformiamdisease
Iamthecolouriamtheshapeiamtheformiamrelease

A shallow distance, love in remission now
While everything’s dead inside
At least the sun shines down again
In horror he fell, this well etched mask of tragedy belies
The light of a funeral for a friend…
I ripped the wound by falling over…

[I am nameless & i am dying]
[I am blameless yet i am dying]
[In suffrage now i cannot see]
[I'm not half as whole as i used to be]

I will cut myself to prove that the wire is real
I have cut myself to prove that the wire is real
I have cut myself, & they have cut me…
Track Name: Flood
I wrote her name across the sky
In letters in red, ten feet high
Like vegas, rewind the tape
Press erase
Close the floodgates
A barrier to entry…

Cut-out shapes upon the floor
Oh, trace the image…

I, I envy you for your perseverance…
Some things are better left unsaid

Only a day away
Draw the blinds on the blood dreams
The bare existence seems like too much work
Just become numb…
It only hurts me when you scream

Belt leaves shadows in the stairwell
Oh, change the image now

I apologise for your perseverance
I feel like i failed you…