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Rust: A Fiction

by The Mercy Cage

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1.
2.
Undiscovered pleasures Undivided by the pain These petty things That infect us… Too complicated Just punching it through To concentrate on, & exonerate you Got a blue mind now Got a head for war You seemed so divine now You know the score We re-create Too many mirrors built to crack Too many warehouses made of stone To all join hands, of skins & hearts & sing the same song Some dispute over product Some dispute over sale The means to an end Mean this vanitys stale You’re wearing this faith Like a bulletproof vest I can slice through the armour… We Re-create Dance in my direction Take the fall Bask in my reflection Take it all…away Like lemmings The tragic & the stained converge So wan & pale This carbon copy of… This silence isn’t wrong No reason to pretend This silence isn’t wrong… We Re-create Dance in my direction Take the fall Bask in my reflection Take it all We Re-create This silence isn’t wrong No reason to pretend…
3.
It’s the same old scene this year Checking in for minor repairs Angel’s gone away, she pushed it an inch too far I’ll admit i like the way you wear your marks & scars… She screams like 1973 “I know” “I need it” Junk makes such beautiful debris Stay sane, at least you’ll leave a good looking corpse Trauma claws & pretty stains All in search of brighter pain Many voices whisper “I will end you” Still haunted by the date Nothing left to separate Keep breathing Inhale/exhale/exhale… Oh, what possesses you to try & trip this….vein? & one more time i disbelieve Choke down the pills that Chrissi gave me & try not to think of this Yet i wonder what possesses you to try & trip the vein? It scars & scars & scars & scars… Another chapter on the road to chemical divinity I Know Why need it? Three steps to co-dependency I think you’re beautiful no matter what the needle marks say Version 2.0, open up the wound & let it flow It rains down, it’s something that she could never see Raise the divine hand of withdrawal It’s just addiction after all Depress the trigger on a gun called apathy & i wonder what possesses you to try & trip this vein? It scars & scars & scars & scars… Don’t want to be late for the wake this time It’s a long drive in ever decreasing circles I’ll admit i lied to you I’ll admit i used you up inside To feed my insecurities Goodbye…
4.
Living in summerland forever, You were the first, the last & the always til you left me underground, There’s dignity in this repression There’s purity, in somewhere that leads anywhere but down Just take the pill, it’ll make you clever, it’ll make you brighter, it’ll make you safe Just choke it down now, we can all join hands & smile & be the same Just take the pill, it’ll make you happy, it’ll make you happy, it’ll make you sane Just take the pill, it’ll make you better, it’ll make you better, it’ll make you stale.. I could suffocate You could smother me with love…. Call this conditional release, justify it any way you can I let you complicate me, my old & vanished friend. These rites of suffrage are like swallowing razorblades again The blank & errant masses swarm, my old & vanished friend. The architecture of convention crashes down, I never, ever wanted you to say: “You give me absolution, you make me whole…” Just take the pill, it’ll make you clever, it’ll make you brighter, it’ll make you safe Just choke it down now, we can all join hands & smile & be the same Just take the pill, it’ll make you happy, it’ll make you happy, it’ll make you sane Just take the pill, it’ll make you better, it’ll make you better, it’ll make you stale.. I could suffocate You could smother me with love, again… Call this conditional release, justify it any way you can I let you complicate me, my old & vanished friend. These rites of suffrage are like swallowing razorblades again The blank & errant masses swarm, my old & vanished friend…
5.
Angel’s in a black dress, overly made up to hide the scars Another graveyard danse for show I remain overcome by the fumes from the fire that stings the eyes A funeral pyre pushing last & final goodbyes [Replace the tape, rewind/erase] A requiem for nothing hit… I never knew you in this space between flood & memory. & Christina’s in the back room swallowing days No mystery mile, no great escape from the pain… These are the days that never end I never knew you in this space between flood & memory. I never knew you in this space between flood & memory. [Junk dreams of broken girls & pretty, strung out, fucked up toys] I never knew you in this space between flood & memory. [As the blood red rainbow radiates bright over vegas again & again & again] I never knew you in this space between flood & memory.
6.
7.
Defeat 03:08
Flawed & Restless by design I see this apathy pushed through A combination of, years of pills & you A Vague expression through default There’s not much left that i can say At least you tolerate me every god-damned fucking day I am learning to crawl Like Pigs in shit we wallow, we revel in co-dependency I am learning to crawl I will not deny this I will never admit defeat Redirect Internalise This depression crutch is getting pretty lame Ripped upon the oceans of another minds distress It’s insane…I never thought the song would remain the same I am learning to crawl With my blood upon your hands, to rein in this conceit I am learning to call To not exclude you from this Tol never admit defeat I know, this seems so shameless I know, you were never pristine I know, You’re not entirely blameless I know, but only in dreams…I know A small redress, this violet light Coloured by preoccupations, with me in red & you in white When all is said, & when i’m done, This obsession was never really any fun… I will not deny this I will never admit defeat I know, this seems so shameless I know, you were never pristine I know, i’m not entirely blameless I know, but only in dreams…I know
8.
Falling down the stairs backwards again I could never be the one to make you…be still Black & blue Ultra-Violet light on skin with the absence of will… Siphoned Off You Into Battle, This is war Sadder still This black refrain Like violins Another slow burn decay A vain attempt to wash these tears & all the blood & dirt away We’ve been down this road before, been in this straitjacket for days With open arms I let you in I let you snuff the flame Be my victim I revel in your apathy This concession means i win Like violence Like violins…
9.
10.
Raise your hands to the heavens We are stained by time Take these shattered wings & fly Traverse the divide There exists right now my love A certain distance between you & i We are, set upon by the great & terrible lie A tear upon the surface Reflecting bent & wrong Over fleeting shards of dreams Don’t speak now I understand… Stand beneath me Let me drink of you This cup full of lies With arms wide open Arms cover everything Like grey machines We sleepwalk through these Gentle acts of cruelty Arms wide open I covet everything Every waking moment Every wasted frame in time Everyday You let me off my knees & make me stand smiling through this charade Stand like nothing ever was wrong Be my lover, be my wife At least look me in the eye for once & make me stand…
11.
& so the danse begins… These are endings We venerate the great black god release A weeping sore ripped open by the wire One More Time Another funeral dirge, so many vacant words Ashes to ashes Dust to dust To head back into the bowels of the machine…
12.
this enchantment Lost in the funhouse again immobilised with my fingers in your head to touch the vein just once without the need to replace something primal fed upon by the virus of faith gridlocked by the storm again she was only 17 salvation’s just a cut away pull the trigger now… welcome to the underneath nothing viral drowning in the image of you lie in the arms these fables of blood & nicotine begin this soulless sacrifice a wire machine that’s built to fail rains down like disease rains down like hail down so long scars fall away welcome in… welcome to the underneath
13.
Pale Horses 04:12
Unleash the demons, too much blood on his hands Haunted by the image of her again She seems forever bound to echo this flawed refrain Thru human frailty The horror of the memory remains… Drive the static out Insessant noises from the dead These insistent voices Whispering away… I have nothing to recant An image burned forever in the skin beneath the eyelids These are blood dreams These are visions Haunted by the voices The memory of Rachael seems to die a little more each day Release comes riding on a pale horse To carry this away… Drive the static out Shut out the voices in my head Framed in violet & touched by the first light again… Oh, I am stained by decisions & hounded by the image Somewhere past the end of you I have nothing to repent Like Christina said: “You were never pure without me” In the absolving glow of twilight [Salvation" etched in blood on the wall] Seems symptomatic of something [My disease] These damnation dreams [My release] To live with this always & forever… Not scared… We are stained by decisions & hounded by the image You know these are ghosts A prozac anthem just like ’95 Kick back & wait for the dreams to die And die… We are stained by decisions & hounded by the image You know these are ghosts You know these are ghosts to me…
14.
Nearly Home 03:06
As the world lies in slumber In dreams I come to you…
15.
"M" 04:44
Black on black Something automatic Something sight unseen I have succumbed to this before Thru malignancy, with sympathy With shame when words collide Stuck on the downside… Every time i think it’s over [I am nameless & i am dying] [I am blameless yet i am dying] I could cut myself to prove that the wire is real Iamthecolouriamtheshapeiamtheformiamdisease Iamthecolouriamtheshapeiamtheformiamrelease A shallow distance, love in remission now While everything’s dead inside At least the sun shines down again In horror he fell, this well etched mask of tragedy belies The light of a funeral for a friend… I ripped the wound by falling over… [I am nameless & i am dying] [I am blameless yet i am dying] [In suffrage now i cannot see] [I'm not half as whole as i used to be] I will cut myself to prove that the wire is real I have cut myself to prove that the wire is real I have cut myself, & they have cut me…
16.
Flood 03:02
I wrote her name across the sky In letters in red, ten feet high Like vegas, rewind the tape Press erase Close the floodgates A barrier to entry… Cut-out shapes upon the floor Oh, trace the image… I, I envy you for your perseverance… Some things are better left unsaid Only a day away Draw the blinds on the blood dreams The bare existence seems like too much work Just become numb… It only hurts me when you scream Belt leaves shadows in the stairwell Oh, change the image now I apologise for your perseverance I feel like i failed you…
17.

credits

released November 11, 2001

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The Mercy Cage Auckland, New Zealand

cyber-noir from the edge of the world.

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